May 14-20 Forecast

2012
05.14

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

“According to the puzzle-book logic that characterizes the now-inaugurating period ahead, the Divine Powers that Be (‘call ‘em what you will or choose not to believe in ‘em at all, they’re still going to do what they do…’) will be showing you two pictures of reality: (1) the one that exists right now, and (2) the one that will be in existence by, say, July. Your challenge, Cancer, will be to identify the seven (or is it eleven?) ways in which these two pictures are different—even though you are likely not to be the primary agent of these changes, and may not actually notice them occurring as they do. Will somebody move a vase off the table? rearrange the chairs? depart the scene altogether? Though these are metaphoric examples, the premise remains the same: Your main preoccupation during this exercise is about observing the changes that go on around you and/or affect your situation, as well as letting your philosophic and/or spiritual outlook on Existence (capital ‘E’) metamorphose as a result of these occurrences so that, on the other side of them, you will possess greater life-wisdom (and thus greater inner peace). A good way to kick off this divinely-inspired phase of direct-experience perspective-widening: Start discussions with members of your community or team about how they are seeing you change, right this very moment, right in front of their eyes.”

What is going to happen in July???? Changes-wise i can observe myself but what is the alternative reality in July??? I so wanna take the alternative.

4個夢

2012
05.09

在一間村屋. 看窗外很熱鬧, 好像有慶祝活動. 看出去, 看到了人群, 看到了D. 回頭AT和我說D要進來了, 嚇了一跳. 醒來.

在一間洋房. 是我們的. 奇怪地有一間房間是AW的. 然後她賣了她的房間?! 我好像很生氣的說怎能把房間賣了給外人, 怎能和外人一起住. 然後她說了一些東西. 然後新房間的主人要裝修, 但竟然連我們的空間也裝上了他們的東西. 記得有天花燈, 裝飾的雕塑. 莫名其妙.

在一間家私店. T和我一起在逛. 店裡只有杏色和黑色的家私. 我們的衣服好像也是這個頻色. 醒來. 想著怎會有這樣一種顏色的家私店. 這個會是coffee shop嗎?
話說, 在廣州有一下子, 在地鐵時有一幕和發過的夢裡一模一樣 – 他的樣子, 說的東西, framing…又來了預知夢…

還有一個昨晚的, 忘了一大半, 最後只記得K按著我的腳說休息一下, 不要走太多的路, 她會不捨得的. 現在還隱約感到那是一個很奇怪的夢…快點記起快點記起…

夢. 26晚.

2012
04.27

看到了兩位男仕. 一位中等高度, 在戴眼鏡的事候很弱的樣子, 開頭有一點嫌棄, 但原來不戴眼鏡時却變得很man. 樣子有點像小時候的一個玩伴, 也有點像b. 比較嚴肅的感覺. 最後好像一起了.

之後要結婚, cocktail party要一白色婚紗和一湖水藍晚禮服, 背景要藍天粉紅櫻花, 然而未婚夫好像是另一個人, 大隻的, 高的, 黑的.

之後唔知點解要幫一位老師完成她的畫? 有一些波浪紋的圖案, 也有和生值器官有關的意義. 身邊有很多人, 但只有我認真的畫著.

記得之前也夢見類似留著出道時張學友髮型的人. 也有不認識的鬼仔.

點架……?!?!?

Myers Briggs Personality Indicator

2012
04.16

三年前我是INTJ. 現在是INFJ.

Idealist
Portrait of the Counsellor

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally “doers” as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a “tug-of-war” between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the “inspirational” professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of “hard logic”, and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* — the dominant function for the INFJ type — which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much “systems builders” as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ “systems” are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually “blurrier” than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted — yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Typelogic – INFJ
Keirsey Temporament

反悔

2012
04.10

我們作出的選擇, 應該是用心用很多時間思考得出的結論.

我們下的決定. 對身邊的人會有所影響或傷害. 如果很容易便反悔, 我會懷疑當初究竟有沒有認真想清楚? 身邊人的感受究竟又算什麼? 有重視身邊的人嘛? 有重視, 下決定時的那個自己嘛?

我們不可以隨便下決定, 要搜集資料, 要權衡輕重, 要想得清楚.
因作決定之後不能反悔.
不能反悔. 因這是對受到影響的人及作出決定的自己最基本的尊重.

這是中學時代訪問師姐時令我印象很深刻的一席話. 她是一位很成功的大律師.

中七時物理老師說, 有選擇A與B. 你選擇了A. 然而你遇到了困難. 你想, 如果選擇了B便好了. 只是, 其實B選項會比A選項好的機率是50/50. 只是, 因為你沒選B, 沒經歷B的困難, 所以自然覺得B比A好, 而這一刻在A遇到困難的你更會想像B一定比現在好很多很多.

其實, 一切只在你的想像中. 事實是, B可能比A好, 也可能比A更差.

有時間坐這山望那山, 不如專心努力使已選擇的變得更好, 確切使自己的決定變成對的決定. 你下每一個決定時便同時背起了這個責任.

看著現在的人妄下判斷, 妄下定論, 然後再輕易放棄, 輕易反悔, 拖拖拉拉, 糾纏不清, 如果這樣如果那樣, 完全不知自己想怎樣, 或是知道了卻坐在一邊一點行動力也沒有, 簡直令人抓狂.

你們, 有顧及身邊受影響的人嘛?
你們, 還有主宰自己人生的尊嚴嗎?

The Power Struggle.

2012
04.09

March 26- April 1 Forecast for Cancer.

“Keep a philosophic mindset about any pushback you receive from a certain individual reacting to you diverting your attention away from them. The minute you table your own ambitions, in order to cater to their needy actings-out, you will have lost the power struggle. And while I’m sure your preference, Cancer, would be for no ‘power struggle’ to exist at all, that seems a bit wishfully oblivious to what’s actually going on in this relationship. If they (consciously or not) believe they should be able to call on you at their whim and on their time-schedule—at the potential sacrifice of you focusing on your life-calling, and the efforts it requires you to take—then they are definitely trying to exercise power over you. (Again, this may not be conscious on their part. But a bitchily unsupportive remark or a sad-sap pity-party performance is still a power-move, no matter its indirectness.) If any such struggle is in the air between you and someone else, you must acknowledge your role in it: Either you play right into the drama (which is pretty disempowering as long as you’d rather not be), or you choose not to (because you’d like to continue working on what furthers your life-course agenda). Notice that your triumph in this ‘power struggle’ comes from assuming your own power to concentrate your energies where you want… and not from overpowering anybody else.”

我也一直在想, 為什麼所有東西也要拿來比較, 拿來批評, 說什麼是為了我好, 到頭來一點constructive的advise也沒有, 逹到的只是令人很難過. 彷彿是在確立自己超然的地位. 彷彿, 你不我壓下來便會感到不安.

雖然我未能清晰知道應將energies放到那裡, 而將energies放到那裡後怎能assume my power, 但有一點我可以肯定. You no longer have power over me.

さようなら

2012
04.07

いっぱい笑った
いっぱいドキドキした
いっぱい切なく思った
ありがとう さようなら

Wishful thinking

2012
04.07

Lesson

2012
04.07

Yes. As much as death takes from us, it also gives. it teaches us what’s truly important, like giving back after a lifetime of taking, going after something we never should have let go of, or looking back on what made us who we are. But sometimes the lessons learned after a person’s death, aren’t the ones we expected.

~ Desparate Housewives season 8 episode 17.

想念

2012
04.06

我想念你了. 怎麼辦?